whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
