I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize