How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
