dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
