so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
