Welp...herpes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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