Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
