he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
