i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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