I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
