i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Drunk is not a location!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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