All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.