I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize