love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
