Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
