...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
