You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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