No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
