i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
