That's when you crack a 10am beer
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
