who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Randomize