I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
