If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
