New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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