I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
