Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
