Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize