until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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