My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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