Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
