Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize