Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
