I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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