when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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