im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize