I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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