Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize