You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
