I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize