I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
