Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
