she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
please come you make the beer taste better
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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