She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
