Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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