Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had sex on a roof
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
