I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
