it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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