My friends, they love my intelligence
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
