i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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