took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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