It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
