just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
