i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
