i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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