garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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