Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
