one might say we're banned from that church
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize