Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
