I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
