Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
one might say we're banned from that church
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
