porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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