I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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