Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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