tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
