I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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