drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
