I think I won the penis lottery.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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